we walked into the church with blues music rocking the sanctuary from a band onstage. the church seemed fairly empty and it was time for service to begin, but the music kept on playing. finally they transitioned to worship songs. people kept filing into church during the worship time until there was a good-sized scattering of people in the sanctuary. worship was lively. finally the pastor got up to speak about the Word. ...but we were never asked to open the Word. there were movie clips shown from "braveheart" and "everybody loves raymond." plenty of stories and jokes. encouragement to "text" our answer to "who is your favorite warrior princess?" to the pastor as he began to speak. a sermon outline provided with the church program had some NLT verses written out to help support the pastor's points. all of this i could grit my teeth and deal with, but when the pastor began disparaging proverbs 31, my jaw almost dropped to the floor and i thought i would have to walk out!
"you are a princess. you are beautiful and worthy. your heart is what's most important. i know you're all thinking that starting a series on women, i'm going to have you all go to proverbs 31. listen, i'm sure the proverbs 31 woman is ok and all, but when i read proverbs 31, i think, 'that sounds like one tired lady!' i mean it says her lights never go out at night, which means, guys, if you are married to a proverbs 31 woman, you aren't getting any..."
i could barely focus on anything else he said for the whole 20-minute sermon, because of the offensiveness with which he treated the Word of God in that statement. first of all, to do a series on being a godly woman yet refusing to look at all the counsel of scripture on that subject is very unwise. it seemed as though he thought of himself too "hip" and "original" to be bothered looking at the "traditional" texts on the subject. instead he chose piecemeal verses from the NLT Bible regarding guarding the heart, fleeing the devil, etc. it was all rather vague, if you can imagine. "guard your heart!" "flee the devil!" "guys, make sure you help her guard her heart! make sure you value your woman! she can be so fierce if she has to be! God made women with that fierce, protective instinct. value that!" then he showed his "everybody loves raymond" clip, where the wife was getting all feisty to some friends, and used it to show that women have a good protective instinct! what?! everybody loves raymond is a terrible show for family life. do we HAVE to see that in church? goodness, whatever protectiveness and fierceness God made in women and mothers is NOT exemplified in a good way by deborah from "elr," certainly! this pastor has apparently NO idea the JOY and FREEDOM that come with confronting the scripture head-on, for exactly what it is, and exactly what is says. this is why i appreciate ministries such as "above rubies" so much: they encourage always the high road, not lying that it will be easy, but exhorting and uplifting you to do the thing scripture calls for, reminding you of the rewards and God's great honor upon you.
secondly, what kind of pastor jokes about sex when talking about the scripture?
needless to say, we won't be going back there.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
two modern fears
yesterday as i was meeting people in a church Bible study, the question came to me in small talk, how many children i would like to have. i answered, "...it's up in the air. i think God should decide." immediately i saw a bit of a defense go up, and then i received two reasons my new friend didn't think quite as i did...
1) in Bible days they had far more extended family around them to help take care of their children, and
2) she personally would have died in childbirth if it weren't for modern technology and hospitals.
here are my personal responses upon reflecting on these issues:
1) i must say, it is true that the communities in Biblical times were closer knit, and there was more immediate help for mothers with babies. partly this is due to the fact that polygamy was more common, so often there would be two or more wives or concubines, and it seems that they would all help take care of the group of children. (not the most desirable way to have a family, in my opinion!!)
the other part of having extended family, and large families to help take care of children is actually HAVING CHILDREN. how can one have a large, close-knit family around if one refuses to HAVE a large family? it has to start somewhere, why not with me? there were only three of us siblings growing up together in my family, and extended family was far away in germany, but the truth is that none of the extended family was very prolific in offspring either, and they were also somewhat spread out. the mindset in today's western cultures emphasizes independence and "every man for himself." my own observation of larger families is that they tend to create their own little "village," especially when raised by loving, strong parents. many of the children desire to stay nearby to be near one another and to take care of their parents in old age. so my question is this: would it not be possible today to have extended family nearby to help take care of offspring? and if the husband's job or other circumstances make it impossible to stay near family, surely the modern conveniences of washing machines, dishwashers, etc. lighten the work load enough to make it possible for a mother to thrive with many children even far away from other family.
what about the fact that children themselves get older and become a great help in the home? i think many people imagine the craziness of having ten toddlers about them with no one to help, when in reality, it is usually possible only to have one or two toddlers at a time. older children are benefitted by learning house work and the care of little ones, family solidarity is built when everyone has to pitch in just to make things work. i think sometimes the parents of a few children imagine that their many children would be just as unhelpful and disrespectful as the ones they have raised already, but i believe God made large families possible knowing that the larger the family, or the potential, the more the parents will be spurred on to train their children up to listen, work, and be respectful. there is simply no other option unless one wants chaos to reign! let us also remember susanna wesley and the many other godly mothers who submitted to God's decisions about their family and became stronger as they did so, having no other option but to press into God, and raised many mighty warriors for His kingdom!
one more point about extended family, is that we might find a church that lives the "family" life! there are churches with close-knit communities, churches who understand and promote the blessings of family, where older girls from the church might even come over to learn from and help mothers of young children. i think that even in this modern age, if we are determined first to obey, God will bring the help that we need day by day.
2) the fear about the dangers of childbirth i must be careful to consider, for i have been blessed to have two easy labors and fairly easy pregnancies, and i know that that aspect has made it much easier for me to surrender to the prospect of more. however, the more i read about modern hospital birth, the more i am convinced that this is a nation duped into dependence on hospitals and doctor-run births which are actually made more dangerous by their very interference, and treating childbearing as an abnormal/unhealthy occurrence. now i don't know what my new friend's specific situation was, and i know there are definitely cases where maternal death could happen unless there is medical interference, so i don't want to judge. i would rather like to help re-educate the many who believe that they could not have had children in a natural setting, when in reality it was the many interferences of medical devices that made the births dangerous in the first place.
it seems that our society has come to fear birth, and girls are scared from an early age; this of course contributes to real problems when they are actually giving birth. how can a woman have an easy, efficient, strong birth when she is paralyzed with fear and thinks that she can't do it? i recommend watching "the business of being born" or reading ina may gaskin's "guide to childbirth" as a start to how deceptive modern hospital birth has become. also note that statistically the US has the worst hospital infant death rate of the industrialized nations. much worse than home birth infant death rate, in fact. it is time to re-examine our blind faith in the medical industry. let us have blind faith in God! if God really told adam and eve to be fruitful and multiply, that being God's very first words to the human race, and reiterated again after the flood, if He told us that it is a GOOD thing to swarm over the earth like a great multitude, then He will certainly take care of us in our time of childbirth. let us live out of faith, rather than fear! God can't do many miracles in a generation that does not believe Him, takes care of their own problems, and always keeps it safe.
Lord, give women today the courage and faith to accept your high calling to be mothers surrendered to you. give families the knowledge of your perfect orchestration of each child. and give me the grace to be an encouraging, strong example in the life of FAITH you are calling me to lead as a matriarch in the making.
1) in Bible days they had far more extended family around them to help take care of their children, and
2) she personally would have died in childbirth if it weren't for modern technology and hospitals.
here are my personal responses upon reflecting on these issues:
1) i must say, it is true that the communities in Biblical times were closer knit, and there was more immediate help for mothers with babies. partly this is due to the fact that polygamy was more common, so often there would be two or more wives or concubines, and it seems that they would all help take care of the group of children. (not the most desirable way to have a family, in my opinion!!)
the other part of having extended family, and large families to help take care of children is actually HAVING CHILDREN. how can one have a large, close-knit family around if one refuses to HAVE a large family? it has to start somewhere, why not with me? there were only three of us siblings growing up together in my family, and extended family was far away in germany, but the truth is that none of the extended family was very prolific in offspring either, and they were also somewhat spread out. the mindset in today's western cultures emphasizes independence and "every man for himself." my own observation of larger families is that they tend to create their own little "village," especially when raised by loving, strong parents. many of the children desire to stay nearby to be near one another and to take care of their parents in old age. so my question is this: would it not be possible today to have extended family nearby to help take care of offspring? and if the husband's job or other circumstances make it impossible to stay near family, surely the modern conveniences of washing machines, dishwashers, etc. lighten the work load enough to make it possible for a mother to thrive with many children even far away from other family.
what about the fact that children themselves get older and become a great help in the home? i think many people imagine the craziness of having ten toddlers about them with no one to help, when in reality, it is usually possible only to have one or two toddlers at a time. older children are benefitted by learning house work and the care of little ones, family solidarity is built when everyone has to pitch in just to make things work. i think sometimes the parents of a few children imagine that their many children would be just as unhelpful and disrespectful as the ones they have raised already, but i believe God made large families possible knowing that the larger the family, or the potential, the more the parents will be spurred on to train their children up to listen, work, and be respectful. there is simply no other option unless one wants chaos to reign! let us also remember susanna wesley and the many other godly mothers who submitted to God's decisions about their family and became stronger as they did so, having no other option but to press into God, and raised many mighty warriors for His kingdom!
one more point about extended family, is that we might find a church that lives the "family" life! there are churches with close-knit communities, churches who understand and promote the blessings of family, where older girls from the church might even come over to learn from and help mothers of young children. i think that even in this modern age, if we are determined first to obey, God will bring the help that we need day by day.
2) the fear about the dangers of childbirth i must be careful to consider, for i have been blessed to have two easy labors and fairly easy pregnancies, and i know that that aspect has made it much easier for me to surrender to the prospect of more. however, the more i read about modern hospital birth, the more i am convinced that this is a nation duped into dependence on hospitals and doctor-run births which are actually made more dangerous by their very interference, and treating childbearing as an abnormal/unhealthy occurrence. now i don't know what my new friend's specific situation was, and i know there are definitely cases where maternal death could happen unless there is medical interference, so i don't want to judge. i would rather like to help re-educate the many who believe that they could not have had children in a natural setting, when in reality it was the many interferences of medical devices that made the births dangerous in the first place.
it seems that our society has come to fear birth, and girls are scared from an early age; this of course contributes to real problems when they are actually giving birth. how can a woman have an easy, efficient, strong birth when she is paralyzed with fear and thinks that she can't do it? i recommend watching "the business of being born" or reading ina may gaskin's "guide to childbirth" as a start to how deceptive modern hospital birth has become. also note that statistically the US has the worst hospital infant death rate of the industrialized nations. much worse than home birth infant death rate, in fact. it is time to re-examine our blind faith in the medical industry. let us have blind faith in God! if God really told adam and eve to be fruitful and multiply, that being God's very first words to the human race, and reiterated again after the flood, if He told us that it is a GOOD thing to swarm over the earth like a great multitude, then He will certainly take care of us in our time of childbirth. let us live out of faith, rather than fear! God can't do many miracles in a generation that does not believe Him, takes care of their own problems, and always keeps it safe.
Lord, give women today the courage and faith to accept your high calling to be mothers surrendered to you. give families the knowledge of your perfect orchestration of each child. and give me the grace to be an encouraging, strong example in the life of FAITH you are calling me to lead as a matriarch in the making.
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