It is He who has made us...

i have been thinking about and questioning recently my motives and logic in the position i take on family planning, because i keep having conversations with my friends, and the general opinion seems to be, 'if you feel convicted to do that, that's fine, but it has to be an individual calling.' i also hear much of 'some people just can't handle having that many.' and then i try to challenge myself by reminding myself that now that i am not pregnant anymore, i am very likely to get pregnant again. would i be eating my words if i became pregnant right now? ...no. i can honestly say, God has brought me to such a point of faith in Himself as the Author of Life that i would gladly receive another from Him, even right now.

i had a revelation the other day: when i stand before God at the end of the ages with my nine--or however many--children, what will He say to me? will He say, "badly done, doris! these first three are ok, but those last six should never have existed! i wish your first three had had nicer stuff and paid-for college educations instead!" NO! GOD is the One who creates life. He delights in LIFE. the Bible says in psalm 100:3, "it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves." people may think that reproduction is just a human thing that the Lord has given us "stewardship" over, but this psalm would suggest otherwise. He is the active initiator of the conception and creation of each life. He allows us to participate in creation, but He has made the process perfect. why do we feel that we have to tweak and adjust it, whether by unnaturally timing our relations with our spouse to avoid pregnancy (ironically called "natural" family planning), or by ingesting artificial hormones to make our bodies think we are already pregnant? (the pill, by the way, has three functions, and one of them is aborting the fertilized egg if its other two mechanisms fail... something your doctor will never freely tell you. read more about it in randy alcorn's "does the birth control pill cause abortions." ) are these actions not rooted in the belief that we ourselves make children? 

 once we realize that God is the One who is making each child, how dare we try to cut Him off, even for the sake of "stewardship" or "ministry"? does He not know the details of our life, does He not have control over it, can He not provide for it, even if we have more children? i have been reading about the arnold pent family in a wonderful book called "ten p's in a pod."  this family had eight children. did that stop them from ministry? were they looking only inwardly, creating inward-focused, ministry-incompetent children? no. they spent their  lives traveling by car across the country ministering all together, preaching, singing, and giving the Word. it IS possible. yes, they dealt with uncomfortable beds at times, old clothes, and very little discretionary spending money, but is that why we are really cutting off our offspring? because we are afraid to wear old clothes and have no cash? we all say that money is not important, and yet we live as though it were. GOD WILL PROVIDE. it is just that we are afraid of what He will provide, aren't we? we know He will provide for our sustenance, but we also know He might not provide for our idea of what a good life is: matching curtains and toys at christmas, a mortgage, and air conditioning in the car. so we forget the high road of faith and tell ourselves that we need to be good stewards and create a good life for the children we already have.

before i got married, i thought i could not handle having children. but God gave me one anyway, and i adjusted my thinking and priorities according to what He was calling me to. when i had one child, i thought i could only handle one. but God gave me another one. and i again had to adjust, and as i did, God gave me the strength for each day, and i became a better mother. i become better with each new child. If you are in bold faith before the Lord, will  He give you more than you can handle? NO! He will give you one at a time (usually!) and the grace to do it well as long as you continue to rely on Him and rely on Him and rely on Him.