the purpose for families

My friend had a cousin who got pregnant out of wedlock while she was still living at home with her parents. Instead of telling her parents, she decided to hide the pregnancy, which she managed to do, living under her parents' roof, eventually privately giving birth to a baby in her own room, and cutting the cord with craft scissors. Her dad was none the wiser until he heard a baby crying. Is something wrong with this picture? perhaps the reason this girl got so few HUGS at home was one of the factors that led her to seek physical fulfillment elsewhere in the first place. Families can be so discombobulated nowadays! I believe that the main reason is that people have simply lost the vision for what a family is supposed to be.

When God created the world, He decided to perpetuate the race through FAMILIES. He could have made children grow on trees and a special kind of animal that herded them around until they were able to take care of themselves. He could have made each person to "hatch" from a pod, as a complete, ready-made adult. But what he chose to do was to create units called families, where the young would be nurtured and taught by the older. Where the older would have that supreme opportunity for that kind of sacrifice which gives wisdom. Where there would be incentive to learn to get along with those of other ages and stages in life. Families were also the primary avenue that God would use to pass on His ways to subsequent peoples: "from generation to generation." (Not churches, Sunday schools, foreign missions, Christian concerts, Christian books, or youth groups.)

And He chose to create these families, as C.S. Lewis put it, through a "curious process, involving pleasure, pain, and danger. a process you would never have guessed." (Mere Christianity) There is something sacred in the way that sex works because it is God's way of allowing us to 1) mirror Christ's intimate relationship with the church, and 2) step into the miracle of creation. No other physical activity is so rich in its eternal potential. the modern world, having lost all sense of Christ, has of course, lost all sense of sex as a picture of God's intimacy with us. But even the majority of the Christian world has lost the idea of the second point, being allowed to and called to participate with God in creation. For some reason, whether you are Christian or not, sex has become "just for fun," and is separated most of the time from the idea of babies. God did not create it like this. He did not intend for the act to be done for its own sake, but rather to have a very deep purpose, a mystery, and to involve a giving up of self: giving up your body to one's spouse, and giving up control to God for the decision to open the womb or close it, to create another person or not. In my view, this is one of the primary reasons the purpose for families has been lost: because first the purpose for sex was lost.

Here are the elements about a family that make it distinct from other groups of people: one father, one mother, and one womb with a limited time for potentially bringing forth children. God's desire for families is that they should perpetuate a godly seed (Malachi 2:15), reflect who He is (Christ/church: husband/wife; God/Christians: parents/children), and be a powerful cell group that ministers to each created person in an individual way, and also blesses the rest of the world through its activities. God created the family structure the way He did because it was the best way for human relationships to bring Him glory. People may believe that this has changed, or that the role of family is now replaced by the church. But there is no such indication in  the New Testament. In fact, one of the main functions of John the Baptist  was to "turn the hearts of the Fathers back to the children." He did this in order to prepare people for receiving the Lord (Luke 1:17); I think that is very telling.

It seems to me that many evangelical circles are missing this major element of emphasis on family; there seem to be a lot of organizations and groups formed around purposes, sometimes effectively replacing that core group: the family. there is nothing wrong with forming evangelistic groups around noble Christian purposes, but it is absolutely essential that the family does not get shoved to the background. Even in the assemblies where they used to read the law to the people, God made a point of it that ALL the people should attend the assembly: men, women, infants, toddlers, guests, and foreigners who were living among them. (Deut. 29:10-12, 31:12, Josh. 8:35, etc.) I wonder how we got the idea that sending the children off to "age-appropriate"sunday school programs would be a better way? This segregation of age groups in spiritual matters follows the world's pattern of doing things (especially when parents "need a break") and assumes that parents are not fit to teach their children, nor children able or fit to stay in the large assembly. Both of these attitudes contribute to family separation and the further disjunction of the family in general. The idea that young children can't be trained to sit quietly is more and more prevalent because of the lack of opportunity or need to do so. In reality, the Bible has God giving the command to pass on His ways directly to parents several times; they are to speak of His ways to their children all day long (Deut. 6:7, 11:19) . Not send them off somewhere else to hopefully learn a bit of his ways from someone else whom the parents don't even know.

Let us honor God by accepting our important role as families! Let us lead our children in the Way uncompromisingly, talking of God with them all day long. God has amazing fruit for the family that is willing to function in the way He created!  We must be willing to step out of the cultural "norms" and believe there is a better, more enduring way.  May His wisdom and power be with you as you lead your family!