One day, three encounters

When you are pregnant or have multiple little children, you often get comments from strangers on the state and size of your family. For me, being the mother of three under six with one on the way, the most common reaction is "you've got your hands full!" which is funny in two ways. One, every mother has her hands full, starting with child #1! And two, four children is really not that many, considering the many families in history and presently who have eight, ten, fifteen children... ok, maybe there are not that many of them in this area, but they do exist in our country and abroad. So I don't know where all the awe comes from, unless it is from the adoption of too many psychology-based parenting methods, which make the parents feel overwhelmed and unable to imagine how they would cope with one more demanding little monarch running their lives. But I kind of like it. I welcome the comments because it encourages me that much more to do a good job raising them, and also because it gives me a voice for a moment, an opportunity to reflect positivity about parenting that just doesn't happen very much. It tends to be a complaining field, doesn't it? I know it was for me, for a number of years...

Today I got to have three such little moments with other parents, all different. I love seeing what will happen, and if there is going to be an opportunity to encourage!

Scenario #1: I was swinging Silas in the baby swing at the park next to a nice grandpa who was also pushing his 2-yr-old grandson. This time it was actually I who started the conversation.

me: "Is he about 2 1/2?"
man: "About 2 and 3 months, so yeah... yup, the terrible twos!"
me: "You mean the terrific twos!"
man: "That too, yeah, most of the time, I guess, but he definitely has his tantrum moments."
me: "Well, yeah, they all have those, but I welcome those tantrums, they are one of the best opportunities to teach!" (and to WIN a battle before something becomes a nasty ingrained habit!)

man: "We do do that a little bit too, but we get to hand him back off to his mother; grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren."
me: "True, true, well, I'm not at the handing off stage yet, so I have to work through those times, but I am looking forward to being a grandparent too; that will be a fun stage."
man: "yeah, when my kids were growing up, it was always just work, work, work for me, so it seemed like they grew up way too fast and I missed so much. It's nice to get to experience it from retirement."


"It's nice to be a stay-at-home mom!" I thought.


Scenario #2:
I was at the hospital for my initial appointment for prenatal care here in the new town, and the person they sent in to examine me was a bald man in his 50's who was filling in for the OB. The great thing was, this man was not a doctor at all, but a certified nurse midwife! Now THAT is unusual, but I decided not to comment; he probably gets enough grief for his career choice from anyone and everyone... The midwife-man was asking all kinds of general questions.


mw man: "so this is your... fourth child. you're gonna have your hands full in a little bit here!"
me, chuckling: "well, we'll see! one child takes up all your time, so four can't really take up any more!"
mw man: "heh, that's true. I had four, and it always seemed to work out somehow."


He was super, super nice and helpful, and pulled some extra strings after the appointment to get me into the midwifery center instead of the regular OB care, (yaaaaaaaaaay!) as the midwives hadn't wanted to take me at first, since I was too far along for their regular cutoff date for a first time patient. AND he let me do my own strep B test, and didn't do a vag. exam at all, so I didn't have to expose myself to a stranger today. Always nice!


Scenario #3:
I had to get a TB skin prick and the lady who was administering them at the lab said to me that it looked like I was having a boy.
me: "I don't know what I'm having."
lady: "Well it looks like a boy."
me: "They all look the same on me."
lady: "Oh you have kids?"
me: "This is my 4th."
lady: "Lucky!"

me, laughing: "Now that's an unusual response."
lady: "Really?"
me: "Yeah, people usually think I'm either crazy supermom, or that I'm selfishly destroying the planet."
lady: "Really, why?"
me: "Because my carbon footprint is getting too big for my own good, something like that. Global warming, I'm killing all the polar bears. ...Do you have children?"
lady: "I have two. I wish I could have more, but that would be just too complicated for me. Mine are ten years apart, so at that rate, I would be having the next one in my 40s."

"Well some people start in their 40's!" I said with a twinkle.I really liked this woman. She was open and sincere and didn't put on any airs. It was actually quite refreshing to be downtown, somehow the people seemed more genuine. The point is, I had a really interesting day discussing parenting with various people! It is the funnest topic--try to encourage someone in their parenting today!